Have you ever had a crush on somebody you work beside? Given that we spend around one-third of our entire lives at our places of employment, close to any number of individuals we might be attracted to in any other situation, it's hardly surprising office relationships can blossom. But what happens when either or both parties are already spoken for?
You might find yourself drawn towards a married woman you work beside. After all, the rules of attraction pay no attention to considerations like the potential fallout of an office-based relationship – as humans, we're driven by basic chemistry, so we often fall for someone first, then consider the consequences much later. How easy it is to pick up a woman who is also married very much depends on the individual. In an ideal world, couples meet, fall in love, marry, and then stroll contentedly into the sunset. But life is a lot more complicated than that.
For all sorts of reasons, women and men are looking for something more. They might think about having affairs. Picking up someone who happens to be somebody's wife requires careful attention. The last thing you'll want to do is cause any unnecessary friction, especially if you are going to be bringing this into your working environment.
So here's what you should be thinking about. How serious are you both about getting into a relationship? Perhaps the married person you've set your sights on is someone you've been flirting with for some time. It can be very easy to develop a strong rapport at work, particularly when you spend long periods involved in tasks you take for granted, where chance encounters in the photocopy room or canteen are relished for the moments of joy and escapism they produce. Taking this connection to the next level is a decision that can't be taken lightly.
It's perfectly natural to spend time interacting with any of the married women at work, but you don't need to feel a strong sexual attraction to flirt. Flirting is a way that adults communicate with each other – it's a great way of lightening the mood or passing the time with a smile. Having this type of informal contact is usually harmless, even if the subject of your affections is a married woman. This behavior just injects a little spice into relationships. Just because you get on well with someone at work and you enjoy bantering and making sexual innuendos doesn't mean you are about to proclaim your undying love for them.
If you feel there is something deeper than simple flirting going on between you, how healthy is this captivation? Do you have to consider anyone else's feelings? What about the husband or wife? Are their children involved? Perhaps you've reached the point where you want to be together at all costs, regardless of the consequences.
If you are hoping to make an impression on a married woman by employing your subtle charms in a text, then it is important to appreciate some boundaries. Think of the difference between a succinct message scrawled on the back of a postcard, and the vibrant and passionate prose that could leap from the pages of a love letter. While texts are very often used to compose throwaway messages, they can also be used to inject a blossoming relationship with a degree of urgency and excitement. So if you would like to seduce a married woman by the power of text messages, be appreciative of the type of inference that can be made. Rather than coming out with blatantly suggestive remarks, it would be far better to be more subtle.
This doesn't mean that you should be polite and above board at all times. A lot of married women appreciate that the type of guys they are prepared to interact with outside of their marriage will be liable to come up with expressions and sayings that their husband has long tired of using himself. So, by all means, be expressive and direct, perhaps even bawdy and downright dirty. As long as you appreciate that married women will respond far more readily to coarse suggestions if they are made with tongue firmly in cheek, rather than if you come across as someone only interested in one thing.
If you think you are falling in love with a married woman, you are entering unknown territory. You need to decide whether or not any signals are coming from the other party that would indicate that she is feeling the same depth of emotion. Has she at any time given you the impression that she would be prepared to give up on her marriage to get into a serious relationship with someone else? Has she ever talked about the prospect of a breakup, even if this is going to affect her family and other domestic circumstances? You need to be wary about taking this step if there is any possibility that things might go off the boil in your relationship.
It would be a terrible situation if your married woman decided to give up everything for a new relationship, only for you to treat her with the same contempt that led her to stray from the marital bed in the first place. If you think you're falling in love, then tell her and see if this is reciprocated. You'll need to begin behaving like a monogamous, dedicated partner as opposed to someone who is the other half of an affair. Act responsibly, communicating your true feelings regularly as you reassure her that the feelings you have for her are far removed from what might initially have been described as straightforward lust. If you feel that love is most definitely in the air, then why not show her exactly how you feel? Send her texts where you express these emotions. Spoil her with unexpected gifts. Springs surprises on her, like tickets for a gig featuring her favorite band or stand-up comedian, or unleash plans to take her away for a romantic weekend break in the country.